How to Switch Off After Work When Your Mind Is Still Busy

I’m a manager, and my work involves a lot of travelling. On the days I’m driving home, singing along to music helps me feel that I have finished. I’m describing how it feels for me; I don’t need to turn it into a claim about what it does to the nervous system.

Your version might be a favourite album on the train or a short walk after leaving the office. Choose something that fits the journey you already make. If you’re driving, keep the volume at a level where you can still hear the road around you.

The useful question is simply: what helps you notice that the work part of the day has ended?

Working from home doesn’t give me that journey between one part of life and the next. So I usually go outside for a little while, sometimes for a walk through the woods, to clear my head.

You don’t need to copy the location. A short route near home may be easier to fit into your evening. If going out doesn’t suit the day, you could close your workspace and move into another room, change your clothes or put on something you want to listen to.

I find it helpful to do something different from whatever has occupied the previous few hours. The exact activity can change.

My work notifications are switched off. I don’t answer work emails in the evening unless someone has contacted me to say there is something urgent.

The people I manage, and my own manager, know they can call or message if something genuinely needs my attention. I’m comfortable with that. For me, it is part of the responsibility that comes with my role.

Having that route agreed means I don’t feel I need to keep checking everything just in case.

Your working arrangements may be different. A useful conversation with your team could cover what counts as urgent, which channel to use and what can wait until the next working day. If you have formal on-call responsibilities, work within those arrangements.

One of my favourite ways to clear my head is surprisingly ordinary: folding washing.

I like rolling my towels neatly. There is something about doing that small, familiar task, and seeing them arranged nicely, that I find calming. My hands have something to do and the task has a clear end.

That doesn’t mean you need to clean the house before you’re allowed to relax. If laundry is the thing you’ve been dreading all day, choose something else. I mention it because the things that work can be very personal, and occasionally they are already sitting in a basket beside you.

I’m not a good match for meditation. I get distracted, then annoyed with myself for getting distracted, and the whole thing becomes another frustrating little circle.

So I don’t keep making myself do it.

What I do enjoy is lying down in the bedroom, closing the shutters and listening to Harry Potter read by Stephen Fry. The familiar story and his voice are something I love returning to.

You may enjoy meditation very much. You may prefer music, a book or a quiet conversation. It is worth noticing what feels restful to you, rather than choosing the activity that sounds most convincing on someone else’s list.

And if what you’d like is to get the day out of your head, journaling when your head feels full is another quiet option.

If there is one thing I would put at the centre of a busy working life and a happy home life, it is communication.

Bas and I check in with each other. How was the day? Is there anything to share? Sometimes I want to be close, sit together and have a little physical contact. Sometimes one of us needs time alone.

Saying that out loud matters. It gives the other person a chance to understand what is happening, rather than having to guess.

You could say, “My head is still full. I’d like a little time on my own, then let’s sit together.” Those are suggested words, not a script you have to follow. Use your own.

I write more about talking about what you need at home in a piece about making time for each other.