Christmas Traditions for Couples: The Little Things You'll Look Forward to Every Year

One of my favourite parts of Christmas is looking forward to it.

So I don't wait until December to begin.

I usually start buying presents for Bas in September. There's a sensible reason for this - spreading the cost makes Christmas considerably easier on the bank account - but that's only half the story.

I also just really enjoy it.

Finding the first present makes Christmas feel as though it's somewhere on the horizon.

Then something else appears. An advent calendar I love. Christmas things start arriving in shops. Autumn turns into Halloween and, once Halloween leaves the house, Christmas gradually begins taking over.

If you're creating Christmas traditions together, don't focus only on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Anticipation can be a tradition too.

Choose when your Christmas season begins. Maybe it's the first Sunday in November. The weekend you decorate the tree. The evening you buy your first presents. The day the Christmas playlist is officially allowed back.

It doesn't matter when everyone else starts.

In our house, Christmas decorating is largely my territory.

Bas knows this.

I have eight Christmas trees, so by this point resistance would probably be futile anyway.

But he helps me assemble the big tree and usually takes care of putting up the outdoor tree.

Then I do what I love: Christmas music on, ornament boxes open and several hours disappearing into decorating.

Your tradition doesn't have to mean doing every part together.

One person can cook while the other puts lights outside. One can assemble the tree while the other decorates it.

The ritual is simply changing the house together.

And once it's finished, have an evening where you actually enjoy it.

Don't immediately move on to the next job.

Turn everything else off. Leave the tree lights on. Make something nice and sit there.

This is one of my favourite ways to let Christmas collect memories over time.

When we travel and I find a Christmas ornament I love, I'll bring it home.

We have decorations from the Cotswolds and from other places we've visited, alongside all sorts of ornaments that represent things we simply like.

The result is that decorating our main tree isn't only decorating.

It's rediscovering things.

A Christmas ornament is small enough to bring home in a suitcase, doesn't need to be expensive and comes back out every December.

Years later, your Christmas tree quietly becomes a map of places you've been together.

Christmas Eve belongs to us.

Bas and I exchange our presents that evening rather than waiting until Christmas morning.

We make picky bits - all the lovely little things you can put on a table and keep eating - and watch a Christmas film.

It's cosy and uncomplicated and something I look forward to every year.

This is one tradition I'd particularly recommend creating as a couple.

Christmas Day can come with family plans, meals, travelling and other people's traditions.

Christmas Eve gives you the opportunity to create something that's specifically yours.

It doesn't have to look like ours.

Order your favourite takeaway. Open one present. Cook something elaborate. Drink champagne. Go for a walk to see the lights. Watch the same terrible Christmas film every year.

Protect one little piece of Christmas for the two of you.

There is absolutely no requirement to find a new Christmas film every year.

In fact, I think Christmas is one of the few times when watching exactly the same thing is part of the pleasure.

Home Alone.

The Santa Clause.

And, because Christmas and Harry Potter seem permanently connected in my head, Harry Potter inevitably finds its way into the season too.

We know these films.

That's why they work.

Put one or two on your unofficial Christmas calendar every year and eventually the opening music alone will tell your brain what time of year it is.

We visit Christmas markets almost every year.

I love the lights, the food, the cold, the stalls and the excuse to stand somewhere outside holding something warm.

We've visited Christmas markets across Europe, and some places have become much more than simply destinations.

Returning somewhere creates a completely different feeling from ticking another city off a list.

You remember where you ate last time. Which market you liked best. The shop you want to return to.

A travel tradition doesn't need to mean an expensive Christmas holiday either.

Find a Christmas market within driving or train distance and make it your December day out.

Because we exchange our presents on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning doesn't begin with ripping paper off boxes.

It can begin slowly.

We make a proper breakfast with freshly squeezed orange juice and warm bread rolls. Christmas music is playing. Nobody needs to rush.

This is one of those traditions that sounds almost too simple to mention.

But that's precisely why I am mentioning it.

Not every tradition needs an activity.

A pace can become a tradition.

Maybe your Christmas morning rule is that nobody makes plans before noon. Maybe you make the same breakfast every year. Maybe coffee and Christmas music come before phones.

The point isn't what you choose.

It's creating a morning you look forward to repeating.

Food is one of the quickest ways to bring old Christmas memories into a new Christmas.

There are things from Christmas when I was younger that I still enjoy now - like everyone sitting around the table gourmetting together.

As an adult, you get to decide which pieces come with you.

You can make something your partner grew up eating.

Bring back something you loved.

Or start completely from scratch and accidentally create the dish everyone expects you to make forever.

It doesn't have to be sophisticated.

Christmas food earns its place through repetition as much as anything else.

I love presents.

I loved the mountains of them as a child and I still love giving them now.

But some of my favourite Christmas giving isn't about the main presents.

It's finding a small thing that makes me think of someone and surprising them with it.

A favourite snack. Something silly. Something they mentioned months ago. Something that costs very little but proves you were listening.

You can turn that into a tradition between you too.

Maybe stockings are only ridiculous little things. Maybe there's always one surprise present. Maybe you have a €10 challenge.

Christmas giving becomes much more enjoyable when it isn't simply exchanging shopping lists.

This requires almost no planning and I love it.

When Christmas decorations start appearing outside people's homes, I look at them constantly.

There is something wonderful about driving through a street where house after house has lights outside.

So make an evening of it.

Put Christmas music on in the car, get something warm to drink and find the streets where people have gone slightly overboard.

The slightly overboard ones are obviously the best.

We decorate outside too, partly because I love that feeling when we arrive home and Christmas is already there waiting for us.

Every year, I have Christmas pyjamas.

And Christmas socks.

Are they necessary?

Not remotely.

Does that matter?

Also no.

There is room in Christmas traditions for things that exist purely because they're fun.

Not everything needs to be tasteful, meaningful or handed down through generations.

Sometimes you are allowed to buy socks with Christmas trees on them because it's December.

This is probably the most important one.

You don't have to inherit every Christmas tradition either of you grew up with.

Keep the ones you love.

Change the ones that don't quite fit anymore.

Bring back the things you miss.

And make new ones.

One of the best things about Christmas as an adult is that you finally get to decide what your Christmas looks like.

There isn't a committee checking whether you've done it correctly.

If Christmas Eve picky bits become your thing, wonderful.

If you want presents in the evening instead of the morning, do that.

If you want eight Christmas trees, I can confirm there is no Christmas law preventing it.

If the two of you want to spend Boxing Day in pyjamas watching six hours of films, congratulations: you've just invented a Boxing Day tradition.